Third Time Lucky
by EllieShelly
Summary: A hotel mishap. One room. Three days. How much trouble can they really get in? HUDDY!
1. Chapter 1

"I can't _believe _I let you talk me into this," House whined as him and Cuddy walked through the hotel lobby.

"It's _one_ paper, House. That's all I ask," she said as they got to the reception desk.

Ringing the bell, they waited for the receptionist to come out. "One paper," he said incredulously. "_One? _Really?"

She rolled her eyes. "You know about the other one?"

"Of _course _I know the other one. Did you really think that you could hide it from me?"

She sighed. "Wilson wrote it. He was going to present it but something came up. And since you're here already I said that you'd do it for him."

"I know all that," House told her. "But seriously, you expect _me _to give a paper called _The journey to the other side: making yourself happy? _Come on, it's already a no-no since it's got happy in the title."

"House," she whined. "Please?"

"Nope."

"We're here now." She reasoned.

"Still nope."

"I'll show you my breasts," she bargained.

His eyebrows shot up. "Really?"

"Give the paper and you'll find out."

"Er... Excuse me?" The mousy receptionist said timidly.

Cuddy groaned inwardly and hoped that the receptionist arrived after the mention of her breasts. "Yes?"

"Can I help you?" By the half-scared half-amused look she was getting Cuddy assumed that her fears were correct.

"I'm Dr Lisa Cuddy and we're here for the convention. I have two rooms reserved..." She dug the reservation confirmation out of her bag and placed on the desk.

Still blushing a little, the receptionist turned to her computer and tapped a few keys. "Uh... I only have you marked down for one room."

"What?" They both said simultaneously.

"Only one room." She repeated, then scanned the print-out version Cuddy had handed her. After a moment she looked up at the confused doctors. "Yep, see?" She pointed to a few lines. "One room, three nights. It's all here."

With a look of pure horror on her face - and one of impish amusement on House's - she snatched the paper out of the cowering woman's hands. "Let me see that."

Skimming through it, she had to admit defeat. "I'm sorry... I must have made a mistake. Can I book another room now?"

The receptionist shook her head. "I'm sorry. This is a big convention and we're booked solid."

"There's no another room? Nothing at all?" At another head shake she was desperate. "A janitors closet maybe?"

At that House made a noise. "Oh come on Cuddy, I'm not that bad! Not bad enough that you'd want a night with the rats."

"You're worse," she told him. "At least the rats don't bite much."

"_Much _being operative word. At least my bites make you feel funny and won't give you the plague."

Ignoring him, she turned back to the receptionist. "There's _nothing _else available?"

"I'm sorry."

It took a moment before Cuddy reached out her hand. "Give me the keys."

House was unusually quiet during the whole exchange. When Cuddy turned - two electronic room keys in hand - she saw the boyish grin on his face.

"Well well, roomie. This is gonna be fun!" And then he limped off before she could stop him, leaving her more apprehensive than ever.

* * *

A/N: I know this is short, but the rest will be longer! Review please :)


	2. Chapter 2

**DAY 1. **

8.00 AM.

_Ring ring! Ring ring! _

Grumbling, House snapped open his cracked Motorola and pressed it to his ear. "What?" He snapped.

"Good morning," Wilson said cheerily. "How's the bed?" House could practically hear him waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

"I wouldn't know," House groaned. "She made me sleep on the floor."

"She made a cripple sleep on the floor? A little cold hearted..." Wilson had to admit.

"That's what I said. That's also what led to my sleeping on the floor with no pillows."

"Don't mess with her, House. She's a force to be reckoned with," Wilson warned.

"Don't I know it," House grumbled. "Unless you have something interesting to say, I'm about to hang up."

"Just wanted to ask you not to _completely _butcher my paper," Wilson pleaded.

"No promises," House said, lifting his sore neck off the floor to look at the bed, and then shutting the phone before Wilson could finish his pointless reply.

Getting up, he winced as a lash of pain whipped through his leg. He breathed in and out methodically, trying to get through it without waking Cuddy up. He succeeded, and then limped over to the bed.

He whistled when he saw the sight in front of him. Phew, Cuddy was _hot. _Seriously, he couldn't take his eyes off the swell of her breasts as they poked out from beneath her flimsy tank top. Her hair was gently waved as it fanned out across, beautifully juxtaposed with the dark hair against the white cotton. It would have been a perfect picture, poetic even, if not for the fact that Cuddy was a witch.

Leaning over her gently, he put his lips next to her ear. "Witch!" He hissed sharply, then playfully bit her ear.

Cuddy leapt out of her skin. "House!" She shrieked, clutching her chest. "Are you _trying _to give me a heart attack?"

"Does it show?" He said sweetly, lying back on the bed. As he watched the rapid rise and fall of her chest he felt the teensiest bit bad for scaring her. "I'm sorry Cuddles... Shall we hug it out?"

After sending him her iciest glare she rolled off the bed. House didn't say anything, just pressed his lips together and admired the view.

She noticed him staring and raised an unamused eyebrow. "You think this really the time to be staring?"

"Is there ever _not _a time to be staring?" He countered.

Gathering the sheet around her body, even though she was fully clothed, Cuddy shuffled to her suitcase. While House enjoyed a great view of her ass Cuddy became more and more frantic and annoyed by second. "House," she growled. "Where's my underwear?"

"What underwear?" He feigned ignorance.

"House, not the time. I have to sit on the MRSA panel at ten." As he just continued staring - this was one of those times when Cuddy wondered if he had secret X-ray vision - she became more desperate. "House _please._"

"My hands are tied," he shrugged. "Incidentally, they're tied by that lacy pink thong that you-"

He never got to finish that sentence before Cuddy had leapt across the hotel room and lunged at him. Unfortunately, at this time in the morning she wasn't completely coordinated and she managed to crash right on top of him.

"Well," House swallowed. "What an interesting position to be in when you are aiming to increase the amount of clothes you're wearing."

"House," Cuddy panted. "_Give me my underwear._"

Shifting to get his arms free he managed to tip her further into his lap so she was nestled between his legs.

"Are you _sure _you want your underwear back?" House breathed, nipping at her ear.

She was momentarily surprised. Her and House always had a special sort of chemistry - the kind normally accompanied with mind-blowing orgasms - and having him nip her ear could be interpret as merely...playful.

"Completely sure," she said, pretending that their closeness wasn't affecting her. She slid her hands over his taut abs - impressive, she might add - and then down his muscular arms to his hands.

Huh. No underwear. Then why...

"When I said my hands were tied, I didn't mean literally." He read her thoughts.

Cuddy flopped her head down his chest. "Come on!" She said exasperated. "If I have to be lying on top of you, I'd like to leave with what I came for."

"You're not coming yet," he deliberately misinterpreted her. "And you say that as if lying on top of me wouldn't be fun?"

Rolling her eyes, she sat up, tired of the charade. "I'm actually serious here."

"Okay okay," he said, sitting up also. "But before I tell you... You might want to look out the window."

Glaring at him, she shuffled over to the window and peered out. House waited gleefully to gauge her reaction. Sure enough, her eyes widened, her mouth dropped - as did the sheet, which was an added bonus - and her hands clenched into fists.

"House." She said slowly and carefully, taking her time. "Please, _please, _tell me that that's _not _my underwear flapping in the breeze."

"That's not your underwear flapping in the breeze." He parroted, his joy plain for all to see.

"Really?" She said tiredly.

"You asked me to tell you something. You didn't ask me to tell you the truth," he answered, practically bouncing up and down, a puppy waiting to be petted.

"That's great," she said, throwing her arms in the air. "That's just great House. I have to be on a panel in less than two hours and all my panties are hanging off the trees for the world to see!"

"Well then, you better get cracking on a solution," he said, then went over to his own suitcase and began pulling out clothes.

"Nu-uh!" Cuddy said, running over and grabbing them out of his hands. "If I have to wander round commando then your going out in your birthday suit." He smiled at the look of tremendous accomplishment that was shown on her face.

"How about... I lend you a pair of my underwear and then you pass me my clothes?" He suggested.

He watched the emotions flicker across her beautiful face. "Fine," she concluded eventually.

And then, after much fumbling, they managed to make it down to breakfast fully dressed.

8.45 AM

"I'll have a coffee, black, two sugars. And... Pancakes," Cuddy smiled. "Thank you."

"I'll have this lovely woman here spread out on my plate, thanks very much," House smiled to the waitress, who glanced nervously at Cuddy.

"He's joking," Cuddy smiled. "He'll have... Green tea. Leaves left in." The waitress shuffled off awkwardly. Cuddy glared. "We seem to be making a habit of embarrassing the hotel staff."

"When I've got your funbags shoved in my face it's hard to think of anything else." He said, as if that justified his actions.

"Hey, how much room do you need in these?" She hissed, adjusting the baggy underwear.

"Can't you extrapolate from the size I buy to what size I am." He leaned closer. "And I buy size extra large."

"I'm assuming that you're not attending any presentations?"

"You assume correct," he said, picking up a piece of toast and shoving it in his mouth.

"So... You have the time to go and retrieve my panties from the trees then," she said, still shifting uncomfortably in her sheet.

"Sorry," he shrugged. "Can't."

"Why?" She asked.

"All the pay-per-view porn isn't gonna watch itself is it?"

Her face was dumbfounded. "You're a _doctor_."

"Excellent observation," he said sarcastically.

"Look, I know you're not giving your paper until tomorrow but you could at least take _some _interest in _something _while we're here?" She said hopefully.

"I'm taking an interest in you," he smiled. "Isn't that enough?"

"As loved as I feel to be the focus of all that attention, I think there's a lecture on rectal cancer that _really _needs you right now."

"Oh, good ol' rectal cancer," House said breezily. "Wilson should be here."

"Wilson _would _have been here... Unfortunately, he has to help his _dying patients._ Would you rather be doing that?" Cuddy asked.

"I'd rather be ignoring my dying patients... But I think ignoring lectures is better for the mortality rates."

Shaking her head, Cuddy sipped her coffee. Just then, her phone buzzed. Taking it out she pressed the button and brought the receiver to her ear. "Dr Cuddy."

"Yes. Er... Okay. Where are you?" A pause while she listened. "I'll be right there," she promised, getting up. "House, _don't _eat my breakfast. I'll be back in ten."

"I wouldn't dare," he said innocently, then watched her hips swinging as she left the breakfast hall. As soon as she was out of eyesight and - for safety precautions - earshot, he took a little phial out his pocket and emptied it into her coffee cup.

Then he sat back and waited.

9.00 AM

"What happened?" House asked, fake concerned, as Cuddy strode back to their table.

She ignored him and focused on the large bite that had been taken out of her pancakes. "Let me guess, they told you to do it?" She raised an eyebrow.

"They were calling out to me!" He protested. "_Eat us, Greg. Eat us!_" He squeaked, still eyeing her coffee cup.

Rolling her eyes, she took a seat and reached her hand toward her coffee cup. House was on the edge of his seat with anticipation. _Drink it, drink it, _he silently urged.

And then - finally - she lifted the cup and took a long gulp. "Uh, that's so good," she moaned, then took another gulp, finishing it off.

House just sat there with an impish grin. "What?" She asked.

"Have fun at the MRSA panel," he said cryptically, then got up and left.

10.15 AM

Cuddy took her place on the panel and surveyed the crowd they'd be speaking to. She wasn't worried at all, she was used to speaking to big groups of people. She wasn't at all surprised... Until she noticed House grinning gleefully at her from the back row.

Why is he here? She thought, and then realised how sad it was that he couldn't be anywhere without an agenda. Leaning back, she listened to the conversation of the the doctors. She loved being a doctor, she really really did, but sometimes, she couldn't help but think how boring these things were.

She drifted in and out over the next few minutes. As she heard snippets of what turned out to be an interesting debate she felt a faint sickness build up in her stomach. Shifting in her seat, she ignored it, and began to focused to take her mind off it.

House watched as Cuddy began to fidget in her chair. He thought it would take five minutes, tops, until she was rushing for the toilet. He began to count in his head.

10.20 AM

Five minutes had passed, and Cuddy suddenly couldn't sit there any longer without something humiliating happening. "Excuse me," she mumbled, leaping and crashing off the panel.

"Dr Cuddy?" Another doctor asked, placing a hand on her arm. "Is everything alright?"

Sweating a little, Cuddy just grinned weakly. "Yes yes... I'm fine. I just have to... Go take care of something."

Much to the confusion of everyone else in the room, Cuddy upped and left as fast as her heeled feet would carry. House, of course, was following.

He smiled from ear to ear as she rushed into the ladies. He followed her still.

As he entered he was met by a few startled women's faces. "Hey, this is the ladies room!" One of them shrieked, even though she was only applying make up.

"I know. The men's is down the hall. I'll be sure to point you in the right direction," he smiled tightly, eyeing the only shut cubicle. "I'm a doctor!" He announced, watching a spark of interest flare up in each woman's eyes. "And that woman in _there,_" he pointed to the cubicle, "is very sick. I'm going to have to ask you to vacate for your safety."

There's so much authority in being a doctor, House thought, as the three women scrammed as fast as they could, mumbling apologies. Happily, he went over and knocked his cane on Cuddy's door. "Alright in there, Cuddles?"

"Go away," she hissed, through tightly gritted teeth.

"Is there a problem? I am a doctor, you know," he said annoyingly, revelling in his joy.

"House. _Go away_," she repeated.

"While you're incapacitated," he continued, "I thought I'd take the time to apologise for my dosing error."

"_What _dosing error?" Cuddy asked slowly.

"Well... I didn't think you were going to drink all of the coffee," he started, then heard a groan from her.

"You DRUGGED my coffee?" She exclaimed, wishing she could go out and throttle him.

"You're surprised?" He asked, with genuine wonder.

"I just didn't think you'd stoop so low. Laxatives? _Really_?" She said incredulously.

"They worked so well last time I road tripped with Wilson," he answered. "And they make for some _great _comic entertainment."

"Well I'm glad I can amuse you!" She hissed. "How much did you put in?"

House paused. "Enough," he said delicately.

"Oh god," she moaned. "I'm done for."

House chuckled. "Come on Cuddy... As embarrassing as this is - and endlessly entertaining - it'll be just as entertaining and far less embarrassing for you if we continue you this mocking in _our _room."

"And how do you suggest we do that?" She asked.

"As quickly and efficiently as possible," House said as if it was simple.

Sighing dramatically, designed for House to hear, Cuddy flushed and exited. "Happy now?" She hissed.

"More than you'll ever know," House smiled.

As she awkwardly made her way upstairs, she turned to him. "Why?" She asked.

"I thought that smokin' ass of yours deserved _some _action, even if it's-"

She cut him off. "Enough said! Just... Get me upstairs!" She urged.

"Of course, mademoiselle," he smiled. "That was the plan all along."

12.00 PM

"House!" Cuddy called from the bed. "I'm hungry!"

"No wonder," House said from the couch where he was absorbed in a wrestling match. "You're pretty empty, I'm guessing."

"No thanks to you," she muttered. "I want lunch. NOW," she growled.

Despite the wrestling match, House heaved himself up and limped to the phone. An angry Cuddy was a force to be reckoned with. An angry _hungry _Cuddy was like a tornado raging through a village full of wooden huts.

Not something you'd want to be caught in the middle of.

He dialled for room service and decided after a moments deliberation to order everything. That way Cuddy would have to have _something _she liked.

12.04 PM

"Where's my food?" Cuddy grumbled.

"It'll be here soon," House promised, bored, eyes trained on the TV screen.

12.06 PM

"House," Cuddy said with a low growl.

"_One _minute," he said, watching the clock.

12.07 PM.

"I am _this _close to ripping your head off... Or _other _parts of you..."

House glanced over at homicidal woman in front of him. "I suppose hunger sex is out of the question?"

She threw a pillow at him. Hard.

"Angry sex, then?"

12.20 PM

_Knock knock! _

"Thank god!" House rejoiced, leaping up at lightning speed.

Room service barely had time to speak before the huge wheeled table was in - and an impressive array of food covered it - and pushed beside Cuddy. "Eat, demon woman," House said, shoving an oyster into her mouth.

"Oyster?" She wrinkled her nose.

"A popular aphrodisiac," he winked. "Also, the first thing that I could grab and shove in that fat gob of yours."

"So thoughtful," she said. "Now, _give me the food._"

"My pleasure," he said, granting her access to the tray.

6.30 PM

Due to her unfortunate 'illness' - as she had told the organisers - Cuddy was forced to spend the rest of the day holed up in her room. Something which Cuddy was not entirely ungrateful for.

As she lay stretched out on the bed, House beside her, she nestled deeper into the groove she'd made over the past few hours and sighed.

House turned to her. "Feeling better?"

"Much," she gave a serene smile. "No thanks to _you._"

He merely chuckled. "Whatever, Cuddles. I win."

She sat up. "Woah, woah. You _win_?" She asked incredulously. "Win what?"

"This." He gestured between them. "Our game."

"We're not playing a game," she said smoothly.

He just moved closer to her. "Everything's a game, Cuddy. And this is one I'm whooping your tight little ass at."

She opened her mouth to retort, then closed it again and turned her eyes back to the TV.

He raised an eyebrow. "No snappy retort?"

She turned to him, eyes wide, then looked away. "Nope."

He let out an unbelieving sigh. "Oh come on, you can't jus-"

But he never got to finish that thought, because the next thing he knew Cuddy was on top of him, her lips interlocked with his and her breasts into his chest.

Part of him thought he should pull away... But the other larger part said that he should keep going and to hell with the consequences.

Suffice to say, the latter part one.

He deepened the kiss, sliding his tongue into her mouth and gently biting her lip, eliciting a pleased moan from her.

As she wound her lean arms tightly around his neck he slid his hands gently up her sides and under her shirt, coming to rest them on her perfect perky breasts.

He reached under her lacy bra, cupping the full swell of them and gently teasing her nipples with his fingers. She moaned again, but he swallowed it, the blood rushing to his groin.

She began to trail her hands down his body until they stopped at the hard ridge in his pants. As her fingers gently undid the button, he broke away from her lips, earning a whimper of displeasure from her.

"What are you doing?" He panted.

She looked him straight in the eye, and House noticed the animalistic glint that rarely flared up. "Winning," she breathed, then rolled off him.

In one smooth motion she turned off the TV, flicked out light and snuggled under the covers. "Goodnight House," she cooed, obviously pleased with herself.

House just lay there, panting, thinking about the woman next to him. After that, she was all his subconscious was going to think about for the next eight or so hours. "Goodnight Cuddy," he replied, a smiled gently playing across his face.

Oh yeah, Lisa Cuddy was a force to be reckoned with.

Let round two commence.


	3. Chapter 3

**DAY 2.**

2.35 AM

"Houseeeee," Cuddy murmured, opening her eye a smidgen to look at him. "Stop stealing the blankets."

2.55 AM

"Cuddyyyyy," House groaned, sitting up and staring at the woman across from him. "_You _stop stealing the blankets." And he gave them a sharp tug and pulled back to his side.

"No fair," she said. "They're half mine." She tugged them back.

"I hope we won't be doing the same thing to our kids," House said, referring to the brutal pulling. "Tug-of-war with children is frowned upon."

"I hope we won't be divvying up our kids," she said, then realised her error. "I mean, we won't _have _any kids."

He merely smiled.

"Stop it!" She said, swatting him across the chest.

"I didn't say anything," he smirked mischievously.

"You implied it," she grumbled.

"Sleep, harpy," he chided, throwing the blankets over her. "The last thing I need is for you to be sleep deprived."

5.10 AM

House woke as he felt something snuggling up to him. He opened one eye and saw Cuddy ducking under his shoulder to nestle into his chest. He wondered whether she was awake. "Cuddy?" He whispered.

"Yes?" She whispered back.

He cocked his eyebrow. "You do know that you're _voluntarily _touching me?"

"I know." She said softly and didn't seem to want to expand on that.

"What's wrong?" He asked after a moment of silence.

"I had a dream about you," she said, as if that explained things.

"Really?" House smirked. "Was I...naked, by any chance?"

"Yes." She said, much to House's amusement and shock.

"So... This isn't a hug, is it? This is you wanting to tap this," he smirked, and part of him really wanted that to be right.

"This is me, scared, after having a bad dream. You, naked..." She petered off and gave a large shudder. "Enough to scare anyone."

House pushed her off. "Well, then, be scared," he teased, pulling off his shirt.

"What are you doing?" She asked, sitting up.

"You want me naked, you get me naked," he said, wriggling out of his boxers.

"House!" She exclaimed as he leaned back in the covers. "Get dressed."

"God, Cuddy, I've got many lectures tomorrow. I need to sleep. Stop shrieking in my ear." And then, he turned away from her and shut his eyes, grinning.

Cuddy merely lay there, not moving. God forbid she fell asleep and managed to find her way into House's arms... among other things.

His breathing levelled out some minutes later, and from the even whuffling he was making she knew he was asleep.

Lying in bed with House, him naked... Brought back some long buried memories of college. Then another thought struck her... Something else that had happened in college.

Sliding out of bed surreptitiously, she tiptoed across the room and slipped out of the room.

Padding down the hall, she flicked the fire alarm switch, then took off running to their room.

WO-OW WO-OW WO-OW! The alarm's shrill ring began echoing down the hallway just as Cuddy was getting into bed.

House jumped up. "What's that?" He mumbled.

"Oh House!" Cuddy said, mock-frightened. "It's the fire alarm! Quick!" She grabbed him arm tugged him out of the bed and to the door.

There was a lot of crashing in the hall and chaos was imminent. Perfect.

"Wait, I just need to get my-" House looked longingly at his clothes which were currently splayed across the floor.

"House! The building's on _fire!_ We need to leave. NOW!" She urged, trying not giggle.

She pulled him roughly into the chaotic hall, his manhood on show for all to see.

As House saw the commotion, and the look on Cuddy's face that was showing how she was trying not piss herself, he put two and two together.

"You bitch." He smirked.

"Two can play at this game," she whispered seductively in his ear. "Come on."

"Mommy!" A little girl just across from them shrieked. "What's that?" She pointed.

As you followed the path of her finger you'd see _exactly _where she was pointing.

Cuddy could no longer stifle a laugh.

"Oh you think this is funny now?" House asked, shielding himself from the kid's gaze. That was going to be an awkward conversation for the parents.

"I do," she laughed. "I really really do!"

"Right," he decided, lunging toward her. "That's it."

In one quick, fluid motion Cuddy's pajama top was lifted over her head. "House!" She shrieked, covering herself as best she could with one arm and swatting him hard with the other. "What are you doing?"

"Ah, you, me, nakedness... And in a public place. Brings back memories, eh?" He smirked, holding her flimsy shirt above her head and out of her reach.

The mass of people was beginning to move toward the stairs, and there was no way Cuddy was going anywhere without her shirt on.

Fortunately, everyone was so preoccupied and panicked about the fire they didn't notice the two virtually naked people pressed together against the wall. In fact, there were some others in similar situations.

Skilfully, she moved closer to him, pretending to be covering herself with him. Very carefully, she put her lips onto his neck, pressing lightly, a half-kiss.

But House saw this coming. "Your feminine wiles won't work this time, Cuddlemuffin." He warned, but she merely arched herself against him and applied gentle pressure to his crotch.

House screwed his face up and shifted out the way. Having Cuddy pressed against him like this was pretty much all he wanted, and he certainly had no problem with his body or public nakedness, but even he had to draw the line at getting a hard-on in front of many frantic families, and other doctors who he knew knew who he was.

Reaching behind him, he turned the door knob and collapsed inside, Cuddy still pressed closed to him.

In the dark lifeless hotel room the ruckus from the hall was dimmed, and all you could hear was two sets of heavy breathing.

Cuddy was now trapped under House, the only thing completely separating their naked bodies was a pair of his boxers. (Hers were still on the tree, much to the confusion of the hotel staff.)

Cuddy attempted to move out from under him, but he was twice the size of her and he was pinning her to the floor. "Hmm... Not so fun when the tables are turned, hey?"

"Not so comfortable," she agreed. "But I don't know about not so fun."

"Ohhhh..." He breathed out. "You're good."

"Thank you." She smiled.

"But I'm better," he smiled back.

It was only then that they realised just how close they really were. It only took a moment of deliberation before House bent his head toward her, his just millimetres from hers.

Then, there was knock on the door. "Hey!" Someone shouted. "Anyone in there?"

"Just keep quiet," House whispered.

"We're doing an emergency evacuation!" The person continued. "We need to know if anyone's in there."

Silence.

"There's no one in there," they said eventually and House and Cuddy listened intently for the sound of footsteps to disappear.

"I think they're gone," Cuddy whispered.

"So do I," House whispered back, enjoying the feel of Cuddy pinned beneath him.

"It's almost six," she said. "And that's when I have to be up."

"It's five forty five," House corrected. "We have a whole fifteen minutes."

Cuddy smiled evilly. "But if I gave you what you wanted then I'd lose the hundred points I just gained for making you go into the corridor naked."

House just laughed. "You don't gain points for that!"

"I so do," she smiled, pushing him off her and covering herself up.

Lying prostrate on the floor House saw the sun just coming up. _Damn, it's only just sunrise and she's already bested me. _

As she got to the bathroom she turned back to him. "Oh and House?" Cuddy smirked.

He looked up to her. "What?"

"Kudos," she grinned, gesturing downward. Then she whipped into the bathroom and slammed the door.

"Ten more points to me," she whispered happily as she slipped into the shower.

11.15 AM

A very smug Cuddy took a seat at the back of the lecture hall, eagerly awaiting House's speech. She hadn't seen him all morning, not since the fire alarm episode earlier.

After a detailed search of the building they concluded that there was no fire - much to the disappointment of the four fire trucks they'd had brought out.

They told everyone that some immature kid had pulled alarm, and they obviously didn't think a sophisticated mature Dean of Medicine was capable of such a juvenile act. But, she was... And she was kind of happy she'd done it. It felt good let go a little and have some fun.

And when Cuddy had vacated the shower some twenty minutes later House was gone, and she had back to back presentations all morning so this was the first chance she had.

Leaning back in the chair, crossing her legs - House still hadn't returned her panties and had conveniently taken all of his, aside from _ridiculously _baggy pair - she prepared herself for the lecture.

House came out and stepped onto the podium a minute later, clutching a few papers. He looked out into the audience and - did he just wink at me? Cuddy thought, fear starting to build in her abdomen.

"Good morning," he said brightly. "I am Dr House, from Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital and you all thought I was here to give a paper on diagnostics. But instead, I thought I'd tell you about a _wonderful _woman who has changed my life." He placed a hand on his heart.

_Oh dear god no... _Cuddy thought. _No no no!_

"Dr Lisa Cuddy!" He said. "Who's sitting _right _over there."

The whole audience turned to stare at her.

"Doctor Cuddy brings a sexy sophistication to the hospital hallways, with her tight skirts and low-cut shirts which are perfect for seeing down blouse nip-slips."

"House," she warned, but he didn't seem to hear.

"She is my doormat," he smiled. "She likes to pretend she's there to help me but...I really just walk all over her."

Cuddy made an executive decision to stop this, even though it will get more attention than she would want.

"She also is a _lioness _in the bedroom," he purred. "I know that, some poor suckers out there know that... and incidentally her father's best friend knows it too."

Cuddy took the fastest route down the stairs and threw herself on the podium. "Stop it, _now._"

"But why?" He smiled serenely. "We're all learning _so _much."

Turning to the audience, Cuddy addressed them. "I am his boss. And although after this that title is questionable, I think you should forget everything he just said."

"You _won't _fire me. You _never _fire me," he pointed out to her annoyance.

"Things change," she snapped. "Get off the podium."

Sighing melodramatically he took a step down. "Outside," she hissed.

Taking his cane he began to follow her out, but not before... "She also has the hots for me!" Was shouted across the lecture hall.

7.00 PM

"Is _that _what you're wearing?" House asked, mouth open, looking at the minidress lying on their bed.

He was still in the dog house from earlier, but Cuddy had had to spend all day in lectures and presentations with everyone giving her suspicious looks all day. She really _really _wasn't in the mood to fight.

"Yes." She said snippily. "Is there something wrong with it?"

"There's _nothing _wrong with it," he assured her. "But if you go out in that, with no panties... Well, people might think that you're asking for it."

"People meaning you?" She replied.

"No, not me. I always think you're asking for it." He smiled.

She raised an eyebrow, but just went over to suitcase and pulled out a plastic bag. "I went shopping," she told him and he could make out the faint outline of pink panties through the plastic. Keeping the bag in her hand she picked up the dress. "I'm going to change."

While she was in the bathroom House took his tux out of his bag and dressed quickly, not wanting her to catch him _yet again _pant-less.

Just as he was doing up the top button of his dress shirt, Cuddy came out of the bathroom. House's jaw almost hit the floor. "Woah," he breathed.

She gave a little twirl. "You like?"

"Very much," he mumbled, taking in the view in front of him. The little black dress hugged her curves in all the right places, accentuating her womanly assets and setting off her eyes. She had her hair in a cute little chignon on top of her head and he watched in awe as she slipped her dainty feet into five inch black heels. "Very _very _much," he said again, hoping that that would convey his appreciation for her attire.

"Ah well, you don't look so bad yourself," she smiled, putting in her diamond drop earrings to complete the look.

Then he linked his arm with hers and pulled her out of the hotel room. "Come on Cinderella, the ball awaits."

They always had a black tie function at these medical functions, and normally him and Wilson would go, get drunk and hit on all the hot waitresses. But now, he thought going with Cuddy might be more fun... At least he'd have something fun to look at.

7.15 PM

"Dr Cuddy!" Another man who neither of them could remember came up and shook her hand enthusiastically. "I haven't seen you since..." He looked at House. "Never mind. Come, you _must _meet Dr Yates."

Raising her eyebrows, Cuddy let herself be dragged away. Tottering on her high heels she was thrown to the lions - the lions being a group of balding, fat men who had too much money and too little boundaries... Much like House himself. Except that Cuddy actually _liked _House, despite what she may say.

Then House noticed a young guy come up to the group. He was blonde, clean shaven, and looked very interested in the woman standing in front of him.

House raised an eyebrow. He'd have to keep an eye on them.

7.45 PM

Cuddy bounded over to House, who was sitting alone at the bar, blonde boy-toy in hand. "House!" SHe half-slurred. "This is Hank."

House nodded. "I'm House, as she said." He took another forceful sip of his drink as Hank's arm slipped around Cuddy's waist.

"Let's dance," she smiled, pulling Hank out with her. "See you, House."

He jaw set in a straight line, he let them go.

8.10 PM

House gripped the glass so tightly his knuckles went white as Hank's hands slipped down onto her ass. She was _his _Cuddy - even though he'd never admit that, and she didn't know it yet - and he didn't like other guys touching her.

As he watched them dry-humping on the dance floor, he called over the waitress. "I will give you fifty bucks if you managed to spill a full glass of whatever on _that _guy," he pointed at Hank.

She raised an eyebrow. "Look sir, thanks for the offer, but I try not to make a habit of throwing drinks at other guys." Then she looked over again. "Is that your girlfriend?"

House thought hard. "Lets say yes," he said delicately.

She smirked. "Give me the fifty, and he'll be dripping before he knows it."

House handed her the money and watched with eagle eyes as the waitress sauntered passed, fake tripped - very well, House might add - and splashed a Cosmo all over him.

8.14 PM

"Are you okay?" Cuddy simpered, patting Hank dry as they made their way to the bar.

"What happened?" House asked, feigning ignorance.

"Some _idiot _waitress spilled a drink on me." Hank hissed, taking a few napkins from the bar and patting himself down along with Cuddy.

"Oh no," House said, obviously insincerely. "So... Wank-"

"Hank," Cuddy corrected sharply, sending him a look.

"That's what I said," House snapped back. "What kind of medicine do you practice?"

"I'm a anaesthesiologist," he said, smiling at House.

House leaned over to Cuddy, placing himself between them so Hank couldn't hear. "Wow, you're more desperate than I thought. He's not even a real doctor!"

"Shut up," Cuddy said. "I like him."

"I like you," House murmured so quietly that Cuddy couldn't help but wonder if he'd said it all.

9.55 PM

"Cuddy!" House said, limping over to where Cuddy was flirting with Hank. And by the way her skirt was inched up, he certainly wasn't complaining. "Can we talk?"

Sighing, she complied, getting up and wobbling into House. "Oops," she giggled.

He just shook his head. "We should get going," he told her.

"Why?" She pouted. "I'm having fun!"

"What? Flirting with a man-child just so you can get some?" He said meanly, but Cuddy just smiled as though she'd got some brand new insight.

"You're jealous," she smirked.

"I'm not," he contradicted fruitlessly.

"Jealous!" She said louder. "You _so _want me!"

"How much have you had to drink?" House asked.

"Enough to make me giggly, not enough that I can't see the _jealousy _in your eyes," she said happily.

"Whatever," he dismissed. "Come on, lets go."

"No." She said adamantly. "I'm staying with Hank."

"So be it," House said back, wrapping an arm tightly around her waist.

She made a move to pull away, but he kept his arm around her. "What are you doing?" She asked, perturbed.

"Can't a guy just need a hug?" He asked, his voice thick with false emotion.

He stayed wrapped around her for another few moments, then let her go. "Have fun with Wank," he whispered in her ear, then took off.

11.40 PM

Cuddy stumbled through the dimly lit hallway close to midnight, tottering on her shoes. She _knew _she'd had too much to drink, but that hadn't stopped her.

She'd been having _such _a good time. And then, predictably, Hank had kissed her and told her he wanted her to go up to his room with him. She'd refused - he was pretty drunk too - and he'd got handsy, she'd pulled away with a sharp 'fuck off' and then he grabbed her harder.

Safe to say, she had a little bruise on her arm and he had a bloody nose. She wasn't some little pushover, no matter what House shouted to a jam packed lecture hall.

Reaching their room, she searched in her purse for the little electronic room key that she'd put in there earlier. Frowning, she searched harder, emptying her purse onto the floor.

No key. Huh?

The she remembered. The odd drawn out hug House had given her just before he'd left. He could have _easily _reached into her purse and taken the key. And it appeared he had.

It was then she noticed the piece of paper stuck to the door. _Welcome home Cuddlemuffin, I've put on headphones and taken sleeping pills, so I'm out. See you in the morning! _

_P.s. I WIN!_

Cuddy groaned as she sank onto the floor. It was going to be a _long _night.


	4. Chapter 4

**DAY 3.**

6.35 AM

House woke up as Cuddy's shrill alarm went off. Groaning, he reached over and turned it off, but the damage was done and he was awake.

He swung his good leg out of bed and gently lifted his bad one, glancing at the door. He knew that part of him should feel bad for locking Cuddy out last night but he _really _didn't. Serves her right for flirting with Wank to screw with him.

He contemplated letting her in now, but if she wasn't awake what's the point of that? He'd make it last as long as it could before he had to give, especially because he knew that repercussions could be potentially bad. Then again, wasn't that the point of the conference?

He took his time showering and brushing his teeth and dressing, but soon it became clear by the tell-tale stomach rumbling that he was going to have to leave soon to eat.

Sighing, he opened the door.

Huh... No Cuddy. House peered down the hall left and right. Yep, still no Cuddy. But...he looked down...Cuddy's shoes. The black five inches had been abandoned on the carpet, and Cuddy had gone in search of something else.

He jumped as he heard a bang from behind him. Whipping round, he saw a flustered Cuddy banging on the glass door. She looked awful, her hair was mussed and flyaway, her make-up smudged and making her look like a tired - though admittedly adorable - panda.

Then he saw the mottled purple bruise on her arm. His jaw hardened. Crossing the room as fast as he could, he unlocked the door and a homicidally angry Cuddy fell into his arms. They stood there for a minute, before House wrinkled his eyebrows. "How did you get onto the balcony?"

"I climbed," she panted. "I thought you'd maybe have left the balcony door open."

"I didn't," he pointed out.

"Thank you, captain obvious," she said snidely. "I found that out at one am when I'd _finally _made my way over and I was still alone in the cold."

"Alone?" House asked. "What, Wank abandoned you?" He eyes flickered to the bruise. He decided to let her tell him.

"Wank is a jerk," she spat.

"What happened?" He asked gently, and Cuddy looked up, amused.

"Why House, are you concerned?" She ribbed him good-naturedly.

He pouted. "I'm merely noticing the purple patch coming up on your arm. Doesn't take a genius to figure that something's wrong."

"Doesn't matter," she shrugged. "I'm fine."

"What's his room number?" House said, and Cuddy shook her head disbelievingly.

"Oh no..." She said fearfully. "No way am I telling you that."

"I just want to go and have a chat with him... Check him out, that kinda stuff," House said sincerely, but of course Cuddy didn't believe him for one second.

"Nu-uh!" She said, pattering across the carpet and into the bathroom. Her voice still echoed out to him. "After you locked me out all night, you have to do what I say at least once!"

"I'm sorry for locking you out," he said softly, and he heard the bathroom clatter stop as Cuddy poked her head out to him.

"Did you... Did you just apologise?" She said, astounded.

"I've have feelings too! He said in a funny voice, placing a hand over his heart. _God forbid _that they had an actual sentimental conversation.

She turned away from him and began to take off her smudged mascara. "I look like crap," she proclaimed to no one in particular.

"Yes, you do," House said from the room, where she could hear zipping. She assumed her was getting dressed, but then the zipping continued for about twenty seconds and even she didn't think his trousers were _that _big.

"What are you doing?" She questioned, stepping out of the bathroom.

"Packing," he said innocently. "I want to be out of here as soon as possible."

"Oh." Was her reply.

"Oh?" He asked, obviously not satisfied with her answer.

"I thought we were having a good time," she pouted, and if House wasn't mistaken she also squeezed her breasts together - no, she _was _doing that, he knew those breasts anywhere.

"We are," he smiled, reaching and stroking her cheek.

If she was surprised, she didn't show it, merely leaning in so that his arm enveloped her. "So why do you want it to be over?" She breathed against his ear, making his breath hitch.

He tried - no, really, he _tried _- to resist her, but it was impossible. She was handing herself to him on a silver platter and he'd have to be insane or a moron not to take it. And, he prided himself on not being _either _of those after Mayfield.

But his snarky inquisitive side couldn't help but come out to play. "If you're planning on doing me so that _you _win, and I'm planning on doing you so that _I _win... Doesn't that make this pointless?"

"Pointless?" She echoed in a cute voice that he'd never heard her use.

"If we both think we won-"

"-Then we both have a sense of achievement. The prospect of beating you has already got me hot and bothered." She said, not kissing him but just resting her lips against his jaw.

"Good enough," he murmured, and took her mouth in his.

Their tongues danced together, biting and nibbling and exploring each others mouths, before House became impatient and pushed her onto the bed, running his hands up her porcelain thighs. She moaned as he deliberately avoided between her legs, just slid his hands under her dress and brought them up to rest on her voluptuous breasts. She moaned deep into his mouth as he brought made her nipples pebble with his gentle touches.

Carefully, he began to slide her dress over her head. The zip was already undone, making his job surprisingly easy. Then she was lying before him, clad only in a matching hot pink ensemble that made him practically start salivating.

"Like the view?" She teased, but her breathing was rapid and shallow.

"Very much," he murmured, bending down to kiss the swell of her breast which were peeking out from her bra.

Reaching around behind, he tried to undo the clasp but failed. Cuddy brought her hands up and unhooked her bra in the right place. "It's in the front," she whispered, and then her breasts spilled into his awaiting hands.

He began to lave his tongue over her nipple, eliciting a pleased moan from her. "More," she panted, and he slid one hand down into her panties.

Carefully and painstakingly parting her folds, she waited in anticipation for his fingers to reach their destination. As they brushed over her clit, she shuddered.

She rolled her hips up to meet his hand, urging him to go inside. He obliged, sliding one calloused finger into her depths, making her moan yet again from the feeling.

At her nod of approval he added another finger and began to pump them in and out of her, curving so that they hit the right spot.

Her limbs began to tremble as she felt her climax building, low in the pit of her stomach and growing with each thrust of his hand.

She gripped the sheets beneath her, fisting them in her own fingers, trying not to let what he was doing overwhelm her. "Let it go," he panted into her ear.

Just watching her face contort as he did this was making his length throb, almost to the point of pain. He knew he had to take her soon.

Almost at once, she moaned long and hard as her orgasm coursed through her body.

She wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline or the pure lust shooting through her veins... But House looked different now. Good different, but still...

She didn't have anymore time to contemplate this before he removed his hand from her, it coated in her juices. Pulling herself up - somehow - she managed to crawl over and straddle him, sliding his boxers down his thighs as she did so.

"Two days is enough foreplay," he panted, rolling over so that she was pinned beneath him. Finally, he eased himself inside her, loving the feel of her walls clamping down around him, making him blind to his surroundings.

He began to thrust in, right to the hilt, so deep that he hit spots inside her that Cuddy didn't know she had. No one had made her experience this before.

She could feel her second orgasm building already. He was squeezing her breasts with his warm hands the movement of his thrusts was scooting her backward on the bed.

She was close, so close, and judging from how erratic his movements were becoming she'd bet money that he was too.

He began pumping faster, harder, until she could do nothing let her head go back and scream his name, her senses failing her as her orgasm ripped through her trembling body.

He followed close behind, spilling inside her with a carnal growl. His chest heaving, he watched as her eyes fluttered open. "I think, we, both win," she forced out, content to just lie there, her body still pulsating.

"I think we do," he had to agree, running a hand across her body. "How important is Wilson's paper?"

"Not important," Cuddy replied immediately. "_So_ not important."

"So... We can stay here all day?" He asked, his fingers gently tapping out a melody on her hip bone.

"Oh yeah," Cuddy exhaled. "All day."

"Good," he said, pressing his lips onto her creamy collarbone. "Because there is _so_ much I'm planning to do to you."

"Bring it on," she grinned, letting his lips capture hers.

.

7.00 PM

"Hey," Wilson looked up from his file and his best friend limped into his office. "You're back," he stated.

"Yes I am," House nodded.

He studied House's leg. "Are you limping more than normal?" He asked.

"I... spent the day engaging in strenuous physical activity," he said, and his expression left no doubt as to what that activity was.

Wilson cocked his head and rolled his eyes. "There's only one kind of physical activity you participate in," he answered. "Cuddy must not have been pleased."

"I'd say Cuddy was _extremely _pleased," he said lowly, and Wilson's head shot up.

"No..." He said, eyes widening. "_No..._"

"Oh yes," he grinned. "And you know, if I've learnt one thing from this weekend-"

"Can this please not be kinky sex thing you guys did," Wilson pleaded.

"-It's not who wins, or who loses..." he turned and opened the door, unbeknownst to Wilson about to go down, take Cuddy back to his and have his wicked way with her in approximately five different places... Perhaps six, depending on how the night played out.

"It's how you play the game," he finished with, and dramatically slammed the door.

* * *

A/N: Okay first attempt at smut here guys, so please be nice :)

I was going to have another chapter full of them pranking each other and such, but when I tried to think of possible scenarios I drew a blank, and anyway, I decided that sex was inevitable anyway.

So please enjoy, and please review! Let me know how I did in my first foray into smut... :) xx LOVE


End file.
